[rehearsal reflections]

they always say that life sucks

and I used to think it wasn’t true

then for some time I quite agreed

and I thought the world was a horrible place

then I heard the music, then I saw the love

how could a crappy place have so much beauty?

it must not be so rotten

maybe it can be good

then I watched the news

people are rotten to each other

I realized the world is a horrible place

and humanity’s to blame for it all

but we’re also to blame for the love

SPOILERS

a splash of light
a wave of flame
and shrapnel flying

the burning sun
ain't a star, it's
an exploding ship

whose ship, you ask?
i'll tell you who
I don't know his name

he's called john smith
the lonely god
destroyer of worlds

do you know who?
i cannot say
he makes you better

LEAD MY DANCE

i can't do this all on my own
i need a little help, a little guidance
if you're standing there, watching me,
could you lead me in this dance?

if life is a dance, i don't know all the steps
i'm getting better, more coordinated
but i can't always hear the tempo
just give me some advice that ain't outdated

i know i can't do this without your help
you know i need you, i know you hear me
i don't know what i've waited for,
but the time for waiting is over, i can see

i'm just pretending to be in control,
would you help me hold the reins?
or better yet, here, take them
and take away my pain

GUILTY ON A GOOD DAY

oh, you're just okay
well, i'm sorry to hear that
i'm great
it's not my fault if life is good

karma might be a witch
or luck might be in my favor
i wish your life was better
but you rain ain't on my parade

i wish i didn't have to be so happy
because you're not
i feel bad
but i just can't bring myself
to be sad
not today

WHEN I'M OLDER

maybe when i'm older
i'll do things i only dream of doing
things i say i'll do tomorrow
things i wish i did yesterday

maybe when i know better
i'll know not to dream of doing
i'll know not to say tomorrow
i won't worry about yesterday

maybe when i'm older
i'll appreciate today
and what i'm doing
right now

I WONDER

i wonder where the north wind hides
in the summer, and the turning tides
where do they go if the moon disappears?
the dawn is drawing ever near

i wonder why the falcon soars
high above towers and stores
and why the nightingale sings in the dark
but in the morning, the songbird's the lark

ONLY AMBER*

amber smiles and ducks her head,

avoiding eye contact

she watches their feet walking past,

wishing she felt less alone

their voices tumble around,

replacing her silence

still she wishes and she listens,

never feeling filled

never hearing that one voice

she ducks her head until

the day he comes

amber has no friends, and yet

she doesn't want any

the friend she wants is coming

she waits to feel less alone

she longs for no companion

she desires no best friend.

knowing he's there at the end

doesn't make her less alone

right now

but he won't let her fall and

he will not let her down

he is waiting for her now

and she knows he's not alone

amber knows he's coming, though

she does not know the day

he's on his way, he's coming

and now if only they...

could wait

they'd see she's not alone

*note: i have turned this one into a song. it ain't silent anymore.